Get a perspective on love, sex and romance from the rapidly growing asexual community.
Hi Jay,I bet you've already seen this, but it is sooo typical of the hypocrisy of the sex-positive movement, I just have to comment on it.It is sooo telling to me that CENSORSHIPNation never even bothered to apologize for their sodden treatment of us, but then comes up with the likes of this:On a less political, but no less controversial note, the first asexual contingent ever is marching in the SF Pride this Sunday. According to the AVEN website, “Asexuality is like any other identity—at its core, it’s just a word that people use to help figure themselves out.” In one of Carol Queen’s recent essays about what sex positivity means to her, she refers to David Jay, a leader in the Asexuality movement: “You don’t have to be bisexual (or trisexual), kinky, non-monogamous, or even sexually active. In fact, some of the most interesting discussions about sex-positivity I’ve had this year have been with a guy who’s busy organizing asexuals into a community of support and affiliation. Yep, you can even be sex-positive if you don’t ever want to have sex, just as you can be very sex-negative indeed and still have plenty of hot sex that you enjoy to the fullest.”To hear a full exchange of ideas between Queen and Jay, download this two-part podcast at the Asexual Underground blog: Part 1 Part 2http://carnalnation.com/content/10369/5/pride-parade-virgins-west-point-and-asexualityWell, well, I guess the above entry-within-an-article is a belated admittance that it WAS a rather glaring oversight of Queen's to refer to us without actually linking up to us, without allowing people who read about us to get the story from the horse's mouth?Now if only they were decent enough to admit I was right and that it was wrong of them to censor me. Once again I am seeing my low opinion of these people drop even lower than before. What cowardly hypocrites that they cannot look me in the face (send me an e-mail) and just admit: Hey, we thought about it, and you were right, we should have linked up to AVEN to give you a chance to represent yourselves by yourselves.Jay, you will never admit this, CENSORSHIPNation will certainly never admit this, but if it wasn't for me openly bitching about the way Queen downplayed us in her article, this ex post (after the fact) article never would have been published.Moral of the story: bitching helps.
That looked like a fun, nice group of people who probably have much more important and interesting things to think about than trying relentlessly to boink eachother.Unfortunately I am confronted with the realization that in addition being asexual, I am also hopelessly asocial. I think my isolation of the past few years broke down my culturally-imposed social conditioning, which had never been very strong anyway, so I am actually pretty glad to be rid of it. Now whenever I see another person/people anywhere, my natural instinct (which I think was always there, but buried by social conditioning) is to think "There's someone who might be nice or interesting and who may or may not like me, whom I will definitely not be able to form any kind of connection with or communicate with on any meaningful level, and whom I will be better off avoiding like the plague".But, being asocial isn't the end of the world. It does make navigating my life difficult; try to imagine going through your day with every conversation as a minefield.There is an upside; with society-at-large being so desperately sex-obsessed, I can usually disguise my social ineptitude, at least briefly, in a fake sexual-persona. People don't understand asocial or asexuality, but they DO understand someone who seems creepy and weird (pretending to)wanting sex, so I guess I'll just keep using that, it makes a semi-useful cover for when I absolutely can't avoid people. It's not so bad, and it's lucrative, at least.Do you remember the year that nora jones won all the grammy's for "Come Away With Me", nelly mckay named her album "Get Away From Me"?lol, that just popped in my head.Well, off to find an asocial support group...just kidding, such an oxymoron couldn't possibly actually exist, but it seemed funny to me for a second there...
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